As long as it takes.

So, here's what's up.
I've been hanging out with Marc and Ben Hughes lately...like a lot. Pretty much any spare time I have is devoted to them. In fact, even when I don't have spare time it's devoted to them. When I'm doing homework, I'm doing it there- When I'm stressed I'm being stressed there. It's actually quite amazing. I just show up and BAM! I'm there till 1-4AM.
Seriously though, slowly but surely they are becoming my best friends, only thing is- Marc wants more. Normally, I would jump all up on that. [lol] But no, not this time. And why? Because I feel like it's time I break up with Ben.

WHAT.
How did that make any sense?

Oh, oh it did-- does-- whatever.

Here's how;
Marc likes me.
I like Marc.
Ben likes me a lot.
I like Ben a lot.
I like 3248734287582974998234 other people.
.1% of those people actually like me back.

If I could just be single then I wouldn't have to worry about hurting anyone.
...anyone but Richard.

Now you just hold on one goddamn second...RICHARD!?

Yes.
Richard.

Well why in the world would you go and bring up Richard?

Because- I'm falling for him.
Falling.
Not like.
Falling.
I am fucking falling.
Face first.

Problem?

Well...he's falling, too.

PROBLEM?

He's perfect.

No seriously....what's the problem?

He lives in Texas.

Oh. Well. Alright.

So, now that I am done talking to myself I can say, Do you see the dilemma? But honestly, that's not even the real problem. The real problem is that he wants to be with me and I want to be with him and he's in Texas and I like him so much that I want to stay faithful to him. [WHOA WHAT crazy thought.] I know, I know. Since I've been in college I've gone through more boys than I have done loads of laundry. Let's do a quick recap of boys:
1. Andrew [Make-out, no talk afterwards]
2. Shane [We all know how that story goes]
3. Jake [Hookup, no talk]
4. Ben [Again, we know this story]
5. Atreyu [BAHAHA. Uh, yeah]
6. Marc [Technically, he isn't anything yet- but go with it]

So, yeah. Now; yesterday, Richard was all like, "I'm not going on dates and flirting with girls because tings are going really awesome with us. Should I be going on dates and flirting with other girls or are you actually serious about me and you?" I said, "I'm serious- if that's what you want.", but at that time- I wasn't. I was serious about Ben. The convo continued, "It is indeed what I want. But not if you don't want it to be, and as for the distance thing, we'll work through it. I'm going to take a break from the girls and work on me and you, It's up to you what you want though. I like the way things are going right now." Then I said, "Why do you like me? Why would you waste your time on someone so far away, esp. a girl like me." He responded, "Well, let me tell you why... The first thing that got me was your attractiveness then we started talking and I found out you're probably the sweetest girl that I've ever known. Like yesterday some stuff you were saying I was just like WOW! She's an awesome girl. And what do you mean, esp. a girl like you? If anything there should be more girls like you. As for wasting my time...I honestly don't think I am." That was when I realized...I'm falling for Richard fucking Tavares. And I'm okay with that. Why? Because he talks to his friends about me, he cares about me, he always texts me in the morning to say hello and at night before I fall asleep. He's everything I've ever wanted in a guy, just 1030.77 miles away. But hey, what's a 15 and half hour drive if it's not worth it?

Because of him, I will be going home on my break.
He wants to come see me, but the only way that would be possible, is if I'm in Louisiana- and I can totally do that. For him.

So my mission for today is to... unfortunately, break it off with Ben and get Marc to see it, too.
As much as I hate to say it. I wish I could just stay with Ben and lie to Richard...but alas, I'm trying something new. Who knows, maybe this will be the best decision of my life.

All I know is what I want right now, right this second and that's where these words are coming from.
But, also- I know that for some odd reason, I am actually missing Covington, Louisiana right now. That, and the people from it.

Oh lord.
That is all.

Peace, love, and Texas!