/sigh

I'm really starting to get aggravated with how much I feel ignored by him.

Like right now for instance.
He said he wanted me to come.
He said he'd come and get me.
It's an hour since I last talked to him when he was going to eat and I've texted him like 5 times and called him once.

He hasn't responded to any of it.
So I don't know what's going on.

He pretty much ignored me all night at the show.
I feel like shit.

I don't know what he's thinking or what he wants because he never tells me.

I just freaking wish that I could read his mind.

I don't know if I am annoying him.
Or if he's ignoring me.
I don't know anything.

I mean, yes- him driving over here to get me and see me must show that he does like me.
But, that's just not enough for me.
I'm big on affection and shit like that.

I wish he would be more affectionate and loving to me.
That would put my mind to rest.

I remember last week, he called me and texted me all the time.
Now, when I text him it takes him so freaking long to get back to me.

Blahhhhhhhhhh.

I know that he doesn't have to do these things because well, he's not my boyfriend yet. But damn. I could've started talking to Erick...but didn't. Why? Because I didn't want to fuck things up with this guy because I thought that for the first time in a long time I had found a guy that was here to stay.

But now, here I am just lying in bed not knowing whether or not to cry, smile, throw up, or jump up and down.
I'm going fucking insane over this guy.
My emotions are all over the place.
I just need to center myself and find the girl I was last week.
Then maybe things will go back to the way the were last week.

Shoot me?

Better yet, call me.